A short guide to learn how to be an American Abroad.

Forget that you're in somebody else's home land. Demand things that you have come to expect as an American. Demand ice in your drinks. Demand fast service. Demand that people use your twisted variant on English, not theirs. Forget their local customs, yours are simply correct. And be obnoxious about it. Don't forget to keep telling all the locals how different they are.

Remeber, the key to cross-cultural understanding is to TALK LOUD.

Remember, all these people are here for your service. Don't let them forget it. If you aren't satisfied, be demanding and unforgiving.

Don't forget the camera and camcorder. You'll want to live this experience over again and again.